Breaking the Myths About Single Motherhood and Raising Resilient Children
- Maya Gray
- Feb 26
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 26
"I still remember the day I packed up my little car, placed my newborn daughter in the backseat, and hit the road, driving more than 300 miles away from everything familiar. Fresh out of college, stepping into my first real job in a lab, and suddenly responsible for this tiny human—I had no idea what I was doing.
I had no family nearby, no village to lean on, and no clue how to balance bottles and boardrooms, daycare drop-offs and deadlines, sleepless nights, and salary negotiations.
I did what so many women before me have done—I figured it out.
I worked long hours in a lab, trading in my safety goggles for baby bottles, navigating the demands of science and single motherhood at the same time. There were moments when I felt powerful—breaking barriers in my field, securing promotions, proving myself in spaces where I wasn’t always welcomed.
And then there were moments when I felt completely lost—rocking my baby at 3 a.m., wondering if I was doing enough, terrified that I was failing her.
Fast Forward to Today
Fast forward nearly 21 years. Life looks different now. I no longer work in a lab—I traded my lab goggles for the boardroom.
I am now a mother of three, a credentialed professional, a businesswoman, and a community advocate. MaKenzy (almost 21) is thriving in college, and my younger two, Nova (6) and Phoenix (4) are growing up in a home filled with wisdom, love, and intentionality.
The Difference: Growth and Perspective
The difference? Growth. Experience. Healing. And the realization that single motherhood isn’t a struggle story—it’s a strength story.
I share this because I want single mothers to know:
You are not failing.
You are not alone.
You are raising whole, brilliant, resilient children.
And you don’t have to carry the weight of society’s myths about single motherhood anymore.
Let’s break them down, call them out, and rewrite the narrative together.
Myth 1: Single Mothers Can’t Raise Strong, Emotionally Healthy Boys or Girls
Society loves to act like single mothers can’t raise whole, emotionally balanced kids. The assumption is that without a father figure, boys will struggle to become “real men,” and girls will lack confidence or independence.
The Truth About Emotional Health
Let’s be clear: Children do not need a specific gender role model to be emotionally healthy. They need love, guidance, emotional safety, and a home where they can express themselves without judgment.
When I Got It Wrong
When I was raising MaKenzy, I overcompensated for the lack of a father figure. I thought I had to be extra tough, extra strict—make sure she was “prepared for the real world.” I pushed her to be “strong” in ways that didn’t always allow her to be soft, to be vulnerable, to ask for help.
How I Made It Right
One day, after a tough argument, I realized something: I wasn’t raising her to be strong—I was raising her through my fears.
I was afraid she wouldn’t be prepared for life, so I was parenting from a place of anxiety, not peace.
I sat her down, apologized, and told her, “You don’t have to prove anything to me. Your strength is in being who you are.” That moment changed us.
What I Do Differently Now with Nova and Phoenix
I validate their feelings instead of dismissing them.
I teach them that expressing emotions is not a weakness.
I make sure they know their voices matter in our home.
📖 Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.”
Myth 2: Single Moms Have to Be Both “Mom and Dad”
Let me say this loud and clear: I am NOT a father. And I don’t have to be. My children do not need me to “play both roles.” They need me to be the best version of myself for them.
When I Got It Wrong
When MaKenzy was younger, I thought vulnerability was a luxury I couldn’t afford. I believed that I had to be strong all the time—never let her see me cry, never let her see me tired, never admit when I was struggling.
But trying to be everything made me emotionally unavailable.
How I Made It Right
One day, I sat down with MaKenzy and told her the truth: "I don’t have all the answers, but I will always be here for you." That honesty shifted our relationship.
What I Do Differently Now with Nova and Phoenix
I show them that parents have emotions, too.
I model self-care and rest.
I allow them to see that life is a journey of growth, not perfection.
📖 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Myth 3: Children of Single Mothers Will Always Struggle More Than Kids from Two-Parent Homes
When I Got It Wrong
I used to carry guilt that MaKenzy didn’t have the traditional family structure. I worried she would struggle because she wasn’t growing up with both parents in the home.
I second-guessed myself constantly. Every time she faced a challenge, I wondered, Is it because she’s missing something?
How I Made It Right
I realized that a family isn’t defined by who is missing—it’s defined by who shows up.
I shifted my mindset from focusing on what wasn’t there to pouring into what we did have—love, communication, consistency, and a strong support system.
What I Do Differently Now with Nova and Phoenix
I remind them that our home is whole, just as it is.
I create stability through routines and family traditions.
I surround them with positive role models—mentors, teachers, and community.
📖 Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”
Myth 4: Single Moms Are Always Struggling Financially
When I Got It Wrong
There was a time when I believed success meant doing it all alone. I was too proud to ask for help, too afraid to admit when things were tight.
That mindset kept me stressed and stretched too thin.
How I Made It Right
I let go of pride and embraced financial wisdom, community resources, and smarter money management.
I learned that breaking generational cycles starts with financial literacy—and that money stress doesn’t have to be a permanent state.
What I Do Differently Now with Nova and Phoenix
I teach them about finances early.
I remind them that money does not define success—character does.
I focus on financial literacy and wealth-building skills.
📖 Philippians 4:19: “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Myth 5: Single Mothers Can’t Discipline Effectively Without a Father Figure
When I Got It Wrong
There were times when I thought discipline had to be loud and forceful to be effective. I believed that, because I was the only parent, I had to be extra tough so my kids wouldn’t “run over me.”
How I Made It Right
I learned that real discipline isn’t about control—it’s about guidance. My job isn’t to be feared; it’s to teach, model, and correct with love.
What I Do Differently Now with Nova and Phoenix
I use gentle, firm discipline that teaches, not punishes.
I encourage communication over control.
I lead with love and logic, not fear.
📖 Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Single Motherhood: A Journey to Empowerment
If there’s one thing I want you to take from this, it’s this:
✨ You are enough.✨ Your love, presence, and effort are enough.✨ Your children are not missing anything because they have YOU.
I know the world will try to tell you that single motherhood is a disadvantage. But I am here to tell you the truth: You are raising whole, brilliant, emotionally strong children—not despite being a single mother, but because of it.
I’ve walked this journey. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned lessons the hard way. And I know that breaking generational cycles, raising resilient kids, and healing ourselves in the process is not easy work. But it is possible.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Let’s Build Resilience Together
I am passionate about helping adolescents and young adults develop the confidence, emotional resilience, and healthy habits they need to navigate life. As a certified health coach, I work with young people to help them:
✅ Manage stress and emotions in a healthy way
✅ Build self-esteem and confidence
✅ Develop a balanced approach to nutrition and movement
✅ Navigate life transitions with clarity and purpose
✅ Break free from self-doubt and negative thought patterns
If you’re a mother raising a preteen, teenager, or young adult, and you want to give them the tools to thrive emotionally, physically, and mentally, let’s connect.
🔗 Schedule a Free Resilience Strategy Session: Resilience Strategy Session
Together, we can give your child the support and foundation they need to become the strongest, healthiest version of themselves.
Because at the end of the day, we are not just raising kids—we are raising future leaders.
📖 Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.”
🔥 You are enough. Your children are enough. And the best is yet to come. 🔥
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